Mommy Monday

Okay so today lets talk mommy guilt.  I have a feeling most (not all) new mothers have felt this feeling at some point and they may not have even realized it was mommy guilt.  What I mean by "mommy guilt" is feeling guilty when you take "me time" to do something for yourself after your baby is born whether it be going out for a night, spending a few hours crafting, getting your hair done, shopping or just going out for a drive to clear your head.  I remember reading in numerous books that sometimes you just need to go into another room and take a few minutes for yourself when your babies been cranky and crying all day or when you have become frustrated.  When I read this I remember thinking "Are you crazy, I will never do this!" and while I never have I now understand why this statement exists.  Why have I never done this?  Because I would feel way to GUILTY!  What I have done is left my baby to take a ride to Starbuck's when my mom would come visit just to get out and be in silence for a few minutes or to blast my music and just sing my head off.  Not because I don't love my son unconditionally but because sometimes you just need a quick break.  I feel guilty just writing that "sometimes you just need a quick break" but it is the truth.  I am only human.  I have gone out for a night here and there and left my baby boy with a family member but I have still yet to be away from him overnight and I'm not sure when I will be ready for that.  I cannot imagine not being able to give him a kiss goodnight and to tell him the same speech I tell him nightly "Goodnight, momma loves you.  Sleep tight and have sweet dreams.  Momma will see you in the morning."  One step at a time, right?!  The guilt was definitely at its worst the first few months of Aidan's life.  As his mother I felt I needed to do everything for him and be there every second.  When I was away from him I worried if he was okay and if I was wrong to have left him even though I knew he was always in good hands.  Now that he is almost 6 months, I still feel bad leaving him for extended periods of time but lets face it I have to work so if I didn't get passed that guilty feeling I would be living a very unhappy life.  Now I feel guilty when I want to do something for myself after work because how could I want that after being at work all day and not seeing that precious face.  I will probably always feel guilty to some degree but I now know it is okay to want some "me time" every now and again.

So the question is, does it make me a bad mother to want some time for myself?  Some may say yes but I don't think it does.  Honestly I think it makes me a better mom.  Taking an hour or even a few minutes for myself helps me recharge my battery.

Have you ever suffered from mommy guilt?

If you are interested in joining us for Mommy Mondays shoot me an e-mail at erin.simplyjustlovely@gmail.com.

Make sure you stop by and see what Erin and Iris had to say about todays topic.