Okay so today lets talk mommy guilt. I have a feeling most (not all) new mothers have felt this feeling at some point and they may not have even realized it was mommy guilt. What I mean by "mommy guilt" is feeling guilty when you take "me time" to do something for yourself after your baby is born whether it be going out for a night, spending a few hours crafting, getting your hair done, shopping or just going out for a drive to clear your head. I remember reading in numerous books that sometimes you just need to go into another room and take a few minutes for yourself when your babies been cranky and crying all day or when you have become frustrated. When I read this I remember thinking "Are you crazy, I will never do this!" and while I never have I now understand why this statement exists. Why have I never done this? Because I would feel way to GUILTY! What I have done is left my baby to take a ride to Starbuck's when my mom would come visit just to get out and be in silence for a few minutes or to blast my music and just sing my head off. Not because I don't love my son unconditionally but because sometimes you just need a quick break. I feel guilty just writing that "sometimes you just need a quick break" but it is the truth. I am only human. I have gone out for a night here and there and left my baby boy with a family member but I have still yet to be away from him overnight and I'm not sure when I will be ready for that. I cannot imagine not being able to give him a kiss goodnight and to tell him the same speech I tell him nightly "Goodnight, momma loves you. Sleep tight and have sweet dreams. Momma will see you in the morning." One step at a time, right?! The guilt was definitely at its worst the first few months of Aidan's life. As his mother I felt I needed to do everything for him and be there every second. When I was away from him I worried if he was okay and if I was wrong to have left him even though I knew he was always in good hands. Now that he is almost 6 months, I still feel bad leaving him for extended periods of time but lets face it I have to work so if I didn't get passed that guilty feeling I would be living a very unhappy life. Now I feel guilty when I want to do something for myself after work because how could I want that after being at work all day and not seeing that precious face. I will probably always feel guilty to some degree but I now know it is okay to want some "me time" every now and again.
So the question is, does it make me a bad mother to want some time for myself? Some may say yes but I don't think it does. Honestly I think it makes me a better mom. Taking an hour or even a few minutes for myself helps me recharge my battery.
Have you ever suffered from mommy guilt?
If you are interested in joining us for Mommy Mondays shoot me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.